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USING WILL IN AN "IF" CLAUSE

We spend years telling students, "Don't use will or would in the "IF" clause." But actually....

1) Polite requests: here "will" = are willing to
- If you will sit down for a second, the doctor will examine you in a moment.
- If you will be so kind and give me your house, i'll be eternally grateful.
- if you would listen to me for for just a second, my love, we might be able to escape this burning building. (would is more polite)

2) Insisting on something: you MUST stress "will" here!
- "I'm fat, Paul!" - "Well, yeah, if you WILL constantly eat cakes all the time, no wonder you can't see your feet!"
- "Dad, my brother keeps kicking me!" - "Paul, if you WILL keep on bloody annoying him, I'm not surprised!"

3) Results: we use WILL here to mean something will be a later result, not a condition of something:
- I'll lend you my car, if it will make you happy! (being happy is the result of getting the car)
- Ok, we'll get married if it will make you feel better!

4) If we are quite certain about something / if we know now that:
- If students WON'T come today, then i'll cancel the class.
- If John will land that dream job, McDonalds will be so lucky!

5) And of course with Indirect Questions - I don't know if...
- I really have no idea if I'll come tonight.
- I really don't know if she'll marry me because i am so ugly.